Genetics

So yeah, feeling pretty crummy.

I am a pathetic, aimlessly malcontent shitstain

I live with my parents. While watching the movie Wanted on a Netflix-shipped DVD, my mother had a hard time keeping up with the narrative and kept asking questions during the movie. I grew frustrated and answered her questions, then ended each reply with a febrile scolding for her not keeping up with everything occurring on the screen. I was yelling at a woman who raised me to be a proper and functional human being in society. Not easy, teaching them kids. How to remain polite and decent in public. How to be honest and just generally good. I shouted at my mother who was trying to understand the movie at her own pace, through her own ears but needed a spoiled American kid to help her keep up with the car chases and a film's final twists before the spinning denouement. A Thai-American woman who can carry on a great conversation but is always silently cursing herself when she encounters a word she doesn't know or didn't catch the first time around. She'll pretend she understood and keep that smile for you to accept her as someone you should talk to. I hurt this woman yesterday evening and she'll forgive me for it.

Left 4 Dead 2

Left 4 Dead 2 tonight. Midnight!

Haughty

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20091004180532245

Foodie

How many conversations about food do you have with people? It bothers me but I oblige.

This blog will haunt me one day.

It will.

Work sucks. I know

So my co-worker confronted me yesterday after she saw that I had taken a bunch of job sheets to be processed that she typically does. We usually have our own accounts that we frequently bill because we are familiar with those customers. There are a few that bounce between us because we're just not always present. Which is fine. It just ends up that whenever she isn't present I usually pick up the bulk of the work. She recently made an effort to do her share, although this at one point created a lot of extra work for me because she entered the information incorrectly, leaving me to issue credit memos and call up several customers. Patience, Andrew.

So I do a lot of work. I'm talking, a elephant's colon load of work compared to my co-worker. She has been here for, coming on nine years, I believe. My start date is just a year and a half ago. Frankly, the position is not difficult: I issue invoices to customers and make corrections if the customers call with errors they've found. This is certainly easier than what I was doing before with my mother who headed all duties of a fully-staffed accounting department. This current position is merely time-consuming, not challenging. I do various other tasks that Ken, Bill, Bob, Betty, Dirk, or whoever would like me to do. When graciously requested, I am happy to oblige. My co-worker spends at least two full hours on the phone per day. Another four hours is surely to Internet browsing and general daydreaming. I'm no saint either, naturally. Being a computer nerd, I'm scouring MeFi, my favorite blogs, and other distracting sites for enrichment and entertainment. Allow me to rationalize the inherent better-ness of my distractions over hers: I can quickly detach from my fun to hop into work mode. I am more accessible and approachable when I am sitting here in front of the keyboard, as opposed to the more intimidating situation of interrupting someone talking on the phone (is that a customer on the line or a personal call?). Getting things done? David Allen would be proud of how fast I complete my work. Bottom line, I do more work than she does and if I need to blow off steam, I deserve it.

I never liked the idea of announcing my actions and intentions. When I do someone a favor I will do it without making a fuss. I understand that truly making a fuss or at least playfully teasing the person for doing them a favor may, all in all, be a healthier choice for the relationship between favor-deliverer and favor-recipient, but I always feel an aversion to having my actions acknowledged. Call it a pretentious tendency, call it a flaw. My co-worker enjoys making it known that she's stressing out over work and is really busy right now, you guys. Even though she's doing a fifth of the work I'm doing, she does her own PR and will chitchat with people in the company and making it a point that she's toiling. I keep my mouth shut and do my work. The (foolish) hope that my work will speak for me. I feel my blood congealing into a lump of icy contempt. She's a liar and she's getting rewarded for lying. According to stories I've heard, she once used this to her advantage. When she first started, she was swamped with work and couldn't handle it. She broke down into tears and was given a raise. The workload subsided and she continues to get healthy raises every year. She has the second-highest salary in the office according to sources.

Noone in the company likes her. She is impulsive and impatient when her needs aren't being met. She tries to be polite. Instead, she just poorly masks her lack of empathy and consideration coupled with tenuous social and listening skills. I know my boss is aware of the amount of work she is not doing, the extended lunch breaks, and the general shitty employee shit she's pulling.

So yeah, she confronted me and started telling me that we are a team and no accounts belong to either one of us. We are a team. Don't say that shit to me when every action you've taken so far has been far from teamwork. Don't smear me by accusing me of selfish behavior when all I have been doing has been for the good of the department. I have been doing MORE work voluntarily. How is this poor teamwork? I told her that I do certain accounts specifically, because I know the account better than she does and that's how it's usually done. I tell her that if she's absent and there's a change, I try to inform her when she returns. For example, when Ken passes new info along, I pass that on to her, I tell her. The very next statement she parrots everything I just said and from her wording completely didn't process what I just said. She says that she tries to inform me of changes from Ken and when he tells her new info, she tells me and she doesn't feel like I do that for her. I go what the--were you listening to me? Did you listen to what I just said? It's like your brain heard what I said, ignored the message completely and simply decided to adopt it as a talking point, and returned the same words to the person who just fucking said it. Seriously, I am pretty sure that when further advances in pathology have been made there will be a condition with her fucking name on it. She just doesn't listen at all. I frequently repeat myself and at first I was patient but now it's really getting to me.

This is just to vent. Excuse the same poor writing that you've come to expect of me. I just can't believe that people can spin their situations into pitiable circumstances and become a beneficiary built upon fraud. This is all silly. I should complain about something else. I can see why people hope for punishment in the afterlife. This woman's going to on with her life, being so effing selfish and ultimately not get punished for her actions. Reality bites.

Pick up

I once wanted to literally pick up a girl to impress her. Not a stranger. A girl I had a crush on who didn't reciprocate.

This is why I'm hot

so maybe we're plunging into a cultural boondoggle when we bring electric, steam-powered, new-fangled ideas into the plum role of money-making power houses. the forces that be are the forces that were while the superstar of yesteryear becomes a faint memory of the shiny plastic and dye that revolves around your Play-On player until the two vertical lines are pressed. pause. no homo. save your words for the righteous one. the smarmy fuckle, fickle fellow with the fedora. feel the air rush through your veins and the embolism is only a mile away. did you know that if you lined up every inch of skin from end to end you'd be dead? it's true. i read it. i felt it. i made it understand that there isn't anyone in the world that can harness the true energy of the atom. push it through the assembly and disperse the crowd. cause a scene and ruin the night. you come in here thinking your portfolio is full of fresh and free media? can you repeat that to me again because i didn't give a shit the first time. lead the way, down the well, as this mess leaves us wanting and waiting for the mess. i am making you money and you don't even know it.

Erector set

I have a boner.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=secrets-of-the-phallus

Evolutionary psychologist tackles the human penis. What he reveals is his dick.

Semen displacement. Upsuck. Polyamory. It's got everything.

Dick.

(via fimoculous)