Pick up

I once wanted to literally pick up a girl to impress her. Not a stranger. A girl I had a crush on who didn't reciprocate.

This is why I'm hot

so maybe we're plunging into a cultural boondoggle when we bring electric, steam-powered, new-fangled ideas into the plum role of money-making power houses. the forces that be are the forces that were while the superstar of yesteryear becomes a faint memory of the shiny plastic and dye that revolves around your Play-On player until the two vertical lines are pressed. pause. no homo. save your words for the righteous one. the smarmy fuckle, fickle fellow with the fedora. feel the air rush through your veins and the embolism is only a mile away. did you know that if you lined up every inch of skin from end to end you'd be dead? it's true. i read it. i felt it. i made it understand that there isn't anyone in the world that can harness the true energy of the atom. push it through the assembly and disperse the crowd. cause a scene and ruin the night. you come in here thinking your portfolio is full of fresh and free media? can you repeat that to me again because i didn't give a shit the first time. lead the way, down the well, as this mess leaves us wanting and waiting for the mess. i am making you money and you don't even know it.

Erector set

I have a boner.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=secrets-of-the-phallus

Evolutionary psychologist tackles the human penis. What he reveals is his dick.

Semen displacement. Upsuck. Polyamory. It's got everything.

Dick.

(via fimoculous)

Urban Outfitters models

There's something about seeing only the lower half of a woman's face that drives me to arousal.

Sweet!

Lady Gaga

I love this woman. There is nothing more admirable than obstinately pursuing her fabulous(!) vision and completely losing herself on stage (all the world's a stage) through singing, dancing, and persistent performance art. She reaches in, steeping her arms in the audience's awe, delivering beats from a character that has been honing its skills for years. She's put in her hours.

I love this woman.

Update:
These are a few of her quotes on IMDB:

[YES]
On her style: My grandmother is basically blind, but she can make out the lighter parts, like my skin and hair. She says, "I can see you, because you have no pants on." So I'll continue to wear no pants so that my grandma can see me.

[Yes.]
I dropped out of NYU, moved out of my parent's house, got my own place, and survived on my own. I made music and worked my way from the bottom up. I didn't know somebody, who knew somebody, who knew somebody. If I have any advice to anybody, it's to just do it yourself, and don't waste time trying to get a favor.

[YES]
Writing a record is like dating a few men at once. You take them to the same restaurants to see if they measure up, and at some point you decide who you like best. When you make music or write or create, it's really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you're writing about at the time.

[Tapping Semi-Precious Weapons at the end]
I love Dolce & Gabbana. I love Versace. I love the crazy, more eccentric stuff. I can't pay my rent, but I'm f---ing gorgeous.

On an empty stage

Matt Cavenaugh and Jenny Powers. Two leading Broadway stars. I always fall for these Real Estate articles that use the lives of the inhabitants as vehicles to talk about a neighborhood's lifestyle. Makes me all teary-eyed. Yep.

Ooo, Weddings/Celebrations? I will have a look.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/26/realestate/26habi.html

You twit.

The Awl takes down Maureen Dowd, heralding her irrelevance.

Also regarding the journalists who need the tweeting and those who don't:
"David Carr, you are FILLING UP MY DASHBOARD, YOU HAVE TO CHILL"

http://www.theawl.com/2009/04/person-with-twice-weekly-column-feels-no-need-to-provide-instant-updates
(via fimoculous)

A is for Apple

Tragic and though I hope the, as of now, unresolved situation does not claim anymore lives, I must point out that the New York Times posted some awesome graphics for the Binghamton American Civic Association incident. Assuming that readers have no idea where the heck Binghamton is, one of their big pictures is a map of New York state, showing where my alma mater's humble, Podunk hometown is located, relative to Albany and New York City.



http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/04/nyregion/04hostage.html

MY RESPECTS TO YOU

Atheism is a belief system I believe in. A belief system of no belief in the existence of deities. I love it. Supernatural occurrences can be undone by science and evidence showing that was happened was mere happenstance.

Oh atheism and rationality, you have shown me what to do in most situations. But, you have failed me when I most frequently need you: What do I say when a person sneezes? Tradition says to say, "Bless you!" and I balk at using what sounds like a religious exclamation.

What do I say to a sneeze? People will think that I am rude if I remain silent. Those around have stopped saying it to me and it kind of hurts.

Oh boo-frakking-hoo. It doesn't hurt that much. I still don't want to be a spaz.

"MY RESPECTS TO YOU." seemed like a fine substitute, albeit stilted and out of place.

"ARE YOU OKAY?" would have genuine concern behind it (seriously), but the person may be confused as to what I am referring to.

I think I will settle on "THAT WAS A GOOD ONE." It addresses the action and compliments the person. A step beyond the crummy "Bless you!"

Oh, it's a baby.

"Is Osama Bin Laden the Ralph Ellison of terrorism?"

http://www.slate.com/id/2211997/